Member-only story
When your Asian parents are unimpressed with your side hustle
They worked to put food on the table. How can they understand that you can make a living doing this?
The other day, I was picking up my daughter from my parents’ place when I get an email from Medium saying that I made a bit of money last month from writing.
Holy shit! The Medium Writers Program only pays if your stuff is read enough to reach their threshold. So, the better writer you are, the more money you get paid.
I had a moment of self-validation. People want to pay for my writing! I am good enough and people want to read what I want to write. The dream of doing what I love and living off it was slowly (very slowly) coming into fruition. Every dollar in my pocket was a dollar I never thought was possible.
I was incredibly proud of myself. It wasn’t a lot of money but still…I was happy about it.
So when I entered my parents’ house, I wanted to share my joy with them. I was mentally prepared for their unimpressed response, expecting a blank stare of indifference, possibly a nod to confirm they understood…well at least I thought I was.
I whip out my phone and show my mom the numbers.
Her response,
“That’s not even enough to pay for groceries…barely a meal. This is how you think you’ll make a living?”
When your Asian parents emotionally invalidate you…you don’t take that shit to heart, man.
First, you take it in, embrace the moment and tell the whole fucking world by writing a blog post about it, holding yourself accountable to the people who do support you.
Next, you make a vow to respond differently to your kids. So that when the time comes for them and they approach you with the little money they made pursuing their passion, you are reminded of the time your mom undermined your sense of accomplishment. You won’t downplay their efforts; you will support them, encouraging them to keep going, reassuring them that it gets better (because hopefully, it already has for you).
Lastly, you muster enough self-confidence to break through their words of disappointment, not letting them…
