Around mid-November, I read an article about how a writer was able to make $4K a month writing on Medium. I was astonished. I had been writing for most of my life and barely made a fraction of that in months.
Of course, the article was well-written, straight to the point and its takeaways slapped me in the face like bugs on a windshield during a road trip across the prairies; I wasn’t writing enough, not even close to what the writer was talking about. …
I am guilty of being overly critical. It’s an unfortunate behaviour of recovering perfectionists.
I’ve been that toxic asshole who was constantly ragging on others, pointing out their weaknesses and offering “solutions” to non-existent problems.
I was always comparing…apples to oranges to bananas to kiwis.
I looked for flaws before beauty. I looked for what went wrong before what went right. I’d complain and complain and complain about how horrible people were. There wasn’t any good left in the world and there was never enough for everyone. Scarcity dominated my paradigm. …
When I first started blogging, I had no idea who was going to read my stuff. It was a space for me to express myself, put feelings into words, and make sense of what was going on for me as a mom.
4 years later, I’ve had distant family members, anonymous strangers, friends of friends, folks I used to go to school with, and old coworkers reach out to me, praising me for what I’ve written. It’s amazing how the power of the Internet and my affinity for words can connect folks across the world from all walks of life.
I wish this meant having both soft and hard tacos but instead it’s experiencing both sexism and racism as an Asian woman. It’s like if I’m not being discriminated against for being a woman, then I’m being discriminated against for being an Asian.
And if it’s not that, there’s a third category where race and gender come together into a mixed bag of shit, from subtle to blatant, the worst of both worlds. And that shit needs to die.
So here are 9 Asian female stereotypes that need to die:
Maybe you see a lot of couples where it’s an…
When I was younger, I would cringe with regret whenever a random thought popped into my head about a guy I used to date. It’s like 2 am and I’m staring at the clock thinking about those nights I stayed up with an ex-boyfriend to watch the World Cup even though I find soccer (sorry…football) incredibly boring. And how months later, he left me for someone who actually liked soccer. Then I’d shudder myself back to sleep.
There’s no need to think about the time I went on a text rampage, calling him horrendous names while he was partying in…
When I first became a mom, I wanted to do everything by the book. But of course, like a naive new parent, I realized quickly that guidelines are merely guidelines and not meant to be followed to a T. Things don’t always go as expected. I thought I would never co-sleep, never do formula, never yell, never swear, never bribe, never lie…
Never say never.
So when my daughter started solids, to my pleasant surprise, she was the ideal toddler. She ate everything and anything, leaving her bowl clean as a whistle, no tears, no fuss, no waste, barely a…
Recently, I picked my daughter up from my parents’. They watch her a few days a week while I juggle caring for my toddler son and trying to write. I ask my usual questions,
“What did you guys do today? What did she eat? How was she? Did she poop?”
My mom responds,
“She played. She ate rice. She pooped twice. We went to the playground.”
“Ok cool. Sounds like a typical day.”
As I was helping my daughter put her jacket on, my mom adds,
“Oh, a little boy kept chasing her, trying to touch her hair…
I have to admit that as an educated, Canadian-born, Millennial woman, I didn’t know what microaggressions were until I had to look it up for an interview I did with Fairchild TV about the current racism that is going on in my country.
It was late at night; I Googled the word and I started reading. The more I read, the more my eyes opened, revealing a truth about my life. It was as though all the times I had ever felt confusingly uncomfortable about what someone said and/or did came together, spelling the word “microaggression”. I knew I had…
I am the queen of procrastination. As a recovering perfectionist, I am notorious for coming up with the most creative reasons to justify delaying the inevitable:
“If it’s not going to be my best work, why bother doing it?”
“I need the perfect time and space to do this and it’s not right now. It’s not urgent urgent, you know?”
Then I’ll go do something that seems “more important”, like “researching” a topic. …
Back in the 1920s, psychologist Alfred Adler coined the term, “Youngest Child Syndrome”, detailing the negative and positive effects of birth order on a person’s character. And boom! Stereotypes are formed.
“She’s a first-born leader.”
“He’s such a middle child, always trying to keep the peace.”
“She’s my spoiled baby sister.”
“He’s weird probably because he’s an only child.”
Growing up with two older sisters wasn’t easy. From always getting hand-me-down clothes, toys, and shoes, playing catch up because I was “never old enough”, having a fraction of the baby pictures that my sisters had, to being called the wrong…